Tuesday, August 4, 2009

chapter 12: Puppy Nerd

One by one, the vivid and gleaming smile turned into a shaky pout and the shimmering eyes turned teary-eyed. My hands, my feet were trembling.

As I entered the house, I was wearing a vivid and gleaming smile. It felt like grinning over a malicious stuff. Then my mom interrupted my fascinating daydream.

“Are you going to eat dear?” My mom asked playfully.

“No, I am full. I’ve eaten already.” I replied still having my left eye shimmer.

“What happened to your eye, miss?” mom won’t let me off when I get myself damaged. I was like gold to her.

“I was daydreaming about… my friends in Japan then I caught off guard and fell on the ground.” It was a combination of truth and lie.

“O, okay. You sure you don’t want anything?”

“I only want Na… nothing mom, I’m really satisfied.” Shoot, that was close.

“Just tell me if you want me to bring you a snack.” Mom finished.

I went to my room and jump off to my bed and hid my face with the pillow. I was reminiscing all that happened when Nathan dropped me off. When we were just of short distance then I closed my eyes. I thought his lips were going to lean to mine but to my injured right eye. What were his words? O, right. Take care. Call me as soon as you see the album. Album… where have I kept it? Hmm, I remember now! I kept it under my bed. I jumped down from my bed and raised the foam to get the album. There, there it was having its same features still. I have kept it with great skills. No doubt, I am a treasure keeper.

I opened the album and saw my pictures when I was just at grade school. In most of the pictures, it is very much noticeable that I was with a male classmate. I can now remember, he was my best friend, my first crush, the first male I felt affection for. But there were no captions here so I can’t tell his name anymore. Maybe he had moved away already in Algona. If he was studying at the same school with me and confesses that he still loves me… o boy! I don’t know who will I choice between him and Nathan.

Look at the last page. I remember Nathan saying that usually, there’s a message left by the giver at the last page. I turned the album to the last page. There was a small envelope taped on the last page, I opened it and picked the white paper folded into four. Here is the note:

Dear Bunny Geek,
I know you’ll be reading this once you’re in Japan. I’m going to miss you a lot not because I have confessed to you that I like you as I said before giving this album. But because you are my best and greatest friend I’ve had. You were my flower that once I see, I get very inspired by its beauty. I wish you’ll be back soon, tomorrow? Just kidding. I’ve fooled the internet and got myself an e-mail address(Nathan_hale19@yahoo.com). Add me up so we can update ourselves with each other’s funny stories.

Missing you always,
Puppy Nerd

I read it again and kept telling myself that I was just too happy about me and Nathan and that I just have an eye defect. But it was foolish. The email address of my childhood friend was really having the name Nathan Hale. I don’t know why but I feel anger, disappointment and betrayal. But worst of all, I feel like I am a person who’ve changed a lot that he can’t trust me to have an answer of the same as we were children. I just don’t know why? Why can’t he tell me directly or ask me if I was really the one? It felt like I was played, quite enjoyed.

I know I should be happy that my speculation can never happen because I can’t choose between people who are just the same. I can’t think of happiness anymore. One by one, the vivid and gleaming smile turned into a shaky pout and the shimmering eyes turned teary-eyed. My hands, my feet were trembling. It felt like I ran 50 miles and just stopped. My heart was palpitating fast like it was going to explode if don’t catch my breath. It was helpless. When I closed my eyes, it just started coming out. It was like a fountain that has broken and can’t stop flowing. I can’t think. All I know is we’ve got to talk but I don’t want to.

to be continued.

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