So I thought everything’s gonna be alright, but a new problem just approached and is swiftly spreading like a contagious deadly being-killing disease!
Saturday, I woke up doing the same routine for almost 2 months. I stare and stare at Nate’s sweet message saved on my phone. I had not the courage to delete it or maybe because I enjoyed seeing it. Actually, after the days that passed since our last talk, I felt much better because I am beginning to sense my real old self again, the happy me who was not in any trouble. Maybe just a little more time and I can move on from everything that happened. Sometimes, I wonder why I got angry with Nate, why I did not understand him more. And then maybe, maybe all of us will never experience and will have to endure pain. But I can’t change anything of what has already happened because everything is fated right? Right, Sanyu.
Since there was no homework to be done this weekend I’ve got nothing to spend my time to so I decided to look on my album composed of my memories when I was still in Japan. Then I began to smile when I saw the pictures of Aya, Maki and Mao’s pictures with me. We we’re like children who was very problem-free in those memories. I remember I was having too much fun with them… chatting. And then I flipped to another page. The picture I saw used to be a very good and sweet memory but now is as bitter as the present. I started wondering, is Taro-kun lonely I fled away or did he celebrate because there will never me who’ll haunt him till he agrees to come back. But no, I will not come and beg for him. Let him be alone. Oh but I’m sure he had and is still rejoicing every single moment of his freedom to flirt every girl he’s seeing. God, I should stop thinking about useless things.
Seeing my friends’ pictures abroad, I remembered to check my e-mail to reply to their messages I haven’t read for about a month already. And there was an e-mail for me sent by Mao. I had great time reading her funny notes about their festival in Japan. That was something that I was really missing because compared to my old country, there was so many festivals I can participate unlike here in Algona. But what really caught me was her last sentence.
Yo Sanyu! Do-shita? Guess, we gift to you in Algona. (Hi Sanyu, What’s happening?Guess what, we’ve got a gift for you to be delivered there in Algona .)
Gosh, they really suck in English. But what is more alarming is that they have a gift for me. and what kind of present could that be? I wish it wouldn’t something I wouldn’t regret receiving because sometimes, their presents are really weird. I don’t know what kind of taste they have but it sucks. But better to have something than nothing, right? I just have to be thankful.
“Good morning Sanyu!” Courtney exclaimed when she saw me walking in the entrance early morning. It was something I become used to since I started to avoid Nate.
“Yeah, o-ha-you Yuu,” Audrey syllabicated the Japanese word she learned. She was studying my language now because she wanted to understand what’s going on whenever I answer an overseas call. She’s much of a gossiper.
“A pleasant morning guys, so what’s new?” I asked wanting to know what’s behind their jolliness in the early morning of the day.
“Nothing,” Courtney shortly replied which was shocking because I was used to her unlimited story telling.
“Well if you really want to know something Yuu, you’ll just fail because there is really nothing special today even if we want to.” Audrey defended Courtney when she saw me giving Court spying eyes.
“Fine. But I’ll found it out too eventually.” I challenged. Then the bell rang too so we went tour own classes and met up during lunch period.
“Yo, yo, yo! Look who’s here Sanyu, yo!” Eric asked and made fun of me. True there was a familiar face who was someone I wished I’ll never meet again and was unbelievably sitting on our table with my friends now.
“This friend of yours taught us Japanese words. Wow Yuu, you’re language is pretty difficult.” April whispered to me on my ear.
“Sanyu,” the man began “watashi-no sei shitteru. Kimi-nashi-ja ikirare-nai. Mo… ichido… yarinaosenai?” (Sanyu, I know it was my fault. I can’t live without you. Can’t we start again?)
“Taro, suteki-na omoide-o arigato. Demo, mo anata-ni kyomi-ga nai-no. Mo aishitenai!” (Taro, thanks for the beautiful memories. But, I’m not interested in you anymore. I don’t love you anymore.)
“Hey, hey. Sorry to interrupt but, you two can speak English right? Can you be more sensitive to us?” Audrey broke the silence.
“Sorry,” was all I could say.
“Uhm, sorry but that was something that had to be private so I didn’t think any of you needed to know anything. I didn’t know it can’t be done.” Taro replied.
“Oh then, sorry because I understood every single detail of your conversation. You know, I am studying your language. And I understood too that you tried to get Yuu back but she rejected you!” Audrey retorted.
“Uhm Yuu, can I talk with you?” Nathan asked, absolutely at the wrong time.
“Uh…Nate, later please?” I pleaded. I was hoping he would agree and just go, go!
““She said later, who are you?” Taro asked with a cold voice from behind.
“I should be the one asking. You’re on my territory.” Nate answered with even more colder… and handsomer voice to die for.
“Taro and my territory is in Japan. I’m Sanyu’s boyfriend.” Taro proudly said. I saw Nathan raised his right eyebrow.
“Ex-boyfriend you mean.” I added quickly so that Nathan won’t think of me as a flirt.
“Doesn’t matter sweetie, I’ll make sure we’ll be together again.” Taro promised.
“You better wish that hard because right now, the rate of that happening is absolutely zero percent.” Nate interrupted.
“What do you care. I don’t care if this is your country. You’re a nuisance here so could you just go.” Taro fought back.
“Hey now, I don’t see you have something to do here. You don’t even study here so what right do you have?”
“Moron, are you blind? Here’s a visitor pass I’m wearing.”
“Well dimwitted fish, I am definitely not blind because I am seeing an ugly fish out of his aquarium right now that’s absolutely nothing to compare with me.”
“Stop, will you? He’s right Taro,” Nate then shook his jacket proudly. “You are not my boyfriend nor… are you… Nathan.” I saw Nate realizing that he had no right too. He then put his hands on his pants’ pockets and turned his head to the right with his teeth clenched.
“Yeah, I know that…” Nate replied. “I have to go, I forgot I had to do... something. Bye.” Nathan evaded leaving away from the banging doors clearly heard because of the silence.
“Piece of cake, he went away already. Sanyu don’t you-”
“Why are you here?” I interrupted. “It was never in my plan to see you again.”
“Oh, that’s a harsh one my beauty.”
“Well I’m sorry beast, I forgot you were the mighty ignorant fish.”
“Rather than beast, aren’t I you’re prince charming my little Cinderella?”
“O shut up Taro. I don’t care what fairytale you're gonna use. All I know is that I don’t love you anymore!”
“Because there is somebody I am in love so much and it is not you.” I replied.
“Is it him?”
“Whoever I am in love with, it is none of your business because we are not even friends.”
“ANATA-GA HOSHII!” (I want you.)
“But I don’t want you. Mo owari-yo. Shitsukoku shinai-de onegaisimasu!” (It’s over. Don’t be persistent please!)
“You know I don’t accept defeat. And I get what I want! ” Taro left but I’m not worried by him.
I’m worried about Nathan. What will he say or think of me from all the things I’ve said. O god, what stupid mouth I have! So I thought everything’s gonna be alright, but a new problem just approached and is swiftly spreading like a contagious deadly being-killing disease!
I opened my e-mail to reply about the very awful gift I just received this day. I was eager to write when I notice I had a new message. And guess what from who it came. The sender was Nathan Hale. Here’s what he said:
Whatever happened today, I’m sorry for my immaturity. I know it wasn’t proper for me to fight verbally with your… ex-boyfriend. But I mean, you know, he was out of his place. Acting that very boastful trait when he was not even your boyfriend anymore. You know Yuu, I don’t care if you can’t return this unrequited feelings of mine for you. But I beg you. I know this isn’t right. But if you’ll get into a new relationship please let it be not with him. But what right do I have… I’ve pained you more than I know. After those months, my feelings for you haven’t changed even a bit. You are still the most special girl I could only approve of. I love you and even though it sounds so cheesy, you make my mind crazy and so tired because it keeps working and thinking, thinking nothing but you. My mind tells me to leave you alone so I can give piece of mind. But my heart begs me to be selfish and just kiss you, hug you and cuddle you more in my arms until I get tired but that would never happen because I love you so much that just by simply leaning a finger to you is like a light sparkling and electrifying me. And finally, do you k now what my hypothalamus commands me to do? It orders me to kill your ex. Kidding, but if I’ll have your permission, then I’ll gladly bring him to hell :)). And secondly, my hypothalamus wants me to love you more each day. I could no longer live in a world where you don’t exist. Because where you aren’t found is where living hell is found. That’s what I’ve experienced when you returned to Japan and I was able to live on because all I thought about those years is what I’ll do once you return to Algona. And what I realize is that once I get hold of you, I’ll never release you. Bring on the shackles I don’t care. I’ll be a glad prisoner of yours! And maybe he knows you more but I’m sure I know the real loving you better. I’ll be by your side whatever happens, whoever you choice will be, it won’t matter to me because for me, you’ll only be the girl I’ll be longing for forever and the one for me, may it be good or bad, I don’t really care. Because all I know is that I am very much in love with you for years already. I think I got carried away. So I just want to say… bye.
I know you’re smart, you'll; figure this out.
134-19-1-14-25-22. sio_ ¬<3 123_ ST_V $ 44ever.
Loving you dearly; your prisoner,
NATHAN HALE <3
I decoded his message which was very simple. I love you Sanyu. My love for you is for forever. Same here nate, but how can we fight for our love now that it got more complicated! Now that it came to worst! I don’t know what to do but I had to appreciate his effort in sending that long message. So I replied:
Thanks for your sweet message. I feel... sorry.